I have now entered my last year of the English schooling system or what many consider to be the worst year of your life. There is coursework, personal statements, references, predicted grades, driving lessons, deadlines and expectation, and there is nowhere to hide. I’m applying to three different courses, all centered around English but without my predicted grades, I can’t apply to any of the ones I want to because one teacher is predicting me two grades lower than the other two subjects. This may sounds like a rant to you and I assure you that this is exactly what it is.
For someone that stresses about trivial things such as where to sit if there is a room change or whether or not to use the stapler when the librarian is sat next to it, this year is going to be incredibly taxing. But… at least I can now use the school vending machine to obtain the lentil crisps I like (they taste much better than they sound). Unfortunately the previous comment did nothing to lift my spirits considering how over priced and not obtainable in supermarkets they are. I’ll try it again: at least I’m going to Cologne with my friends in February. I am much more convinced the second time round.
The thing is, I like my school. Many moan about the lack of resources and the lack of freedom but I have home comforts. My tutor room is a safe haven, my best friend is brilliant and Friday’s, which are chip days, are absolutely Michelin star worthy. When I come home, or get driven home by my mum, I know that dinner is roughly at 5pm and there are no bills waiting for me on the table. I am essentially a child that is turning 18 in February. I’m not scared of going to University (but perhaps where if my teacher doesn’t buck up their ideas in terms of my predicted grade) or making new friends but I find it wrong to dismiss what I have going for me right now. There is a reason why I’m not yet at University and it’s because we’re not quite ready for each-other.
Despite it only being September, I know how quickly the months will roll around. October: university applications in. November: a pretty fun month in terms of social activities. December: history coursework in. January: the year of A-Level exams. I wish they would just slow down because before I know it I’ll become one of those pieces of ice, drifting further into the abyss. I can’t read the pile of classics hiding away in my draw or write in my journal because the little things are becoming neglected. But I promise now to you, or perhaps even myself for state of mind, I will not give up on this blog. I love to read but I live to write.
Another ramble written
Emily Simms: 17:03